Darkness Breathes

Darkness breathes the coming of a new and different day
In which we know we will not be the same.
So we knock down our army men by battles rows
And lay aside our baby dolls and our dress up clothes.
We study like Trojans, like it's all we have,
And when we stop to socialize, the fun turns us mad.
We learn how to get by from fix to fix
As we work the game of Pick-Up-Shifts.
For this we were not born it seems,
But oddly in these molds we feel free.
And in order to get to tomorrow's light,
We must be diligent through the night.
And we may as well lift our hands in praise
To the God who brings us through the change.

I feel a great peace. It seems everything I do can be done directly unto God, and if I find that it cannot, I can quit doing it. The things I have to do I was made to do. For instance, it seems I cannot but write, as if I was created to create. It's a joyous thing to rest in. At times in my life I have felt to do what I loved was contrary to God's will, but I think that is usually legalism. Currently, when I read God's Word, I feel like I'm sitting in His lap, listening to Him speak. It's amazing. And in my relationships, I feel utter excitement right now, as if I am the most blessed person in all the world. I must be.

The New Identity

(Here at last is the final poem in the series that began with "Observations of a Little Girl" and continued with "For Fear of Beauty," "The Mirror Tells It All," and "Glimpses.")

All my life I have chased a dream of who I want to be,
But the dream turns to wind and I'm left with only me.
All my life I've lost myself in the mirror's weary face--
The tear-streaked eyes, the hardened mouth, the unpenetrated glaze.
I have tried to be rustic; I have tried to be strong.
My life has been a masquerade, and unfelt, dreary song.
Despite the closets where I live with the secrets that I hide,
I was never meant to live alone: I was made to be a bride.
And somehow in my dark domains, I feel this in my bones,
But I have not yet opened up, for fear that I'll still be alone.
From my closet, from my cell, I hear a voice ring through:
"You are mine, chosen long ago; and now I've come for you."
A gentle voice met with gentle hands and eyes that see my heart,
Come rescue me from empty dreams; come rip this mask apart.
Now I unchain this beauty; now I set her free.
Oh God, let me loose myself in Your identity.

Man of passion, take my hand; lead me to your hidden land.
Man of wisdom, here I wait; it grows harder with each day.
Man of valor, show your might; I am ever on your side.
Man of worship, fall in line; He's your Lord like you are mine.
Man of courage, praise His Name, through all failures, through all gain.
Man of scripture, listen close; lead me closer to our Hope.
Man of kindness, don't let go; hold me close until we're old.